Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Time to talk about good sex?

So the blog hasn't been updated in awhile... this is because Lady Cunt has had her academic hat on and has been finishing a research report titled: Time to talk about good sex? A study on the inclusion of Sexual Pleasure within Sexual Health Promotion. 
I've been interviewing sexual health workers, youth workers and young people on their reactions to a controversial sexual health resource produced by The Centre for Sexual Health and HIV in Sheffield. It was a booklet called simply 'Pleasure' and gave a straight forward arguement why we need to focus on the primary reason we al should be having sex - for pleasure. Advocates of this "pleasure propaganda", such as myself, Steve Slack and Liz Wilson from The Centre for Sexual Health and HIV in Sheffield, The Pleasure Project, Susan Jolly of the Sexuality and Development Programme in Sussex University, believe that we have been focusing on the dangers of sexual encounters for far too long.
It's time to talk about ways in which we can have safe, satisfying sex. 
The main reason cited for why people don't want to use condoms is the lack of pleasure. This needs to be counteracted with strategies to encourage people to find ways to enhance sexual pleasure whilst using a condom - vibrating cock rings, the french tickler, ribbed, spotted and ultra thin are examples. Durex and Pasante have been doing this for years as part of their marketing ploy, how long is going to take for sexual health promoters to join them? And it's not just the male condom, the all new improved FC2, femidom is said to enhance sexual pleasure for both the woman and the man. The outer rim stimulates the clitoris and the inner rim is said to produce a unique tingling feeling for the man at the tip of his penis which in fact, has enticed Nigerian men to invent a special name for the sensation!

Another blatant reason why we should talk about sexual pleasure to young people in particular is that if we don't, they will turn to pornography for the answers instead. 
You Gov (2008) found that almost sixty per cent of young people aged fourteen to seventeen have seen pornography on the internet, on their phones, in magazines, films or on the television and twenty seven per cent of the boys surveyed access pornography at least once a week. In the same study, it was discovered that five per cent of these boys viewed it daily. 
A survey of over eight hundred young men and women aged eighteen to twenty six found that eighty seven per cent of young men and thirty one per cent of young women watched pornography (Malamuth et al 2000).
 The porn that the majority of these young people are watching is the hard and fast free stuff on Red Tube, Porn Hub etc and these videos objectify women, ignore the clitoris and depict unrealistic portrayals of sex.
They make us feel inadequate. Men feel they should have huge cocks AND keep it up for hours on end whilst periodically sticking it into every possible orifice of a woman. They feel they should have hairless chests, perfect pecs and a Hollywood tan. The women in popular pornos have gigantic tits, hairless cunts minus most of the outer labia and an amazing ability to reach a screaming climax anytime a massive cock comes near her. 
It's hysterical really when you think about it and very very far removed from real life, consensual, mutally pleasurable sex. 
Porn is all about fantasy and it has it's place but the problem is that we've taken it too far. Many men and women are now trying to BE like porn stars and ACT like pornstars. Sex becomes about PERFORMANCE, not about pleasure. Young, impressionable teenagers are watching porn in sustitute for sex education and this scares me to death. By talking about sexual pleasure  - about masturbation, about sexy safe sex, about how to give good head or the best moves to guarantee  to stimulate the clitoris - we are providing our young people with an alternative to porn. An alternative to faking orgasm, to hating your body, to spending more time wondering if your belly flab is showing (and we all have belly flab!) and most of all, an alternative to the fucked up fantasies of the human sexual pysche.... because that's all they really are - fantasy and no one ever said fantasies had to impinge on reality!

I'll be writing more about this in the future but wanted to let everyone know what I've been up to and welcome any comments/ questions on this subject. It can get heated in more ways than one!!

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