PLEASURE: OK to teach Teen Masturbation? | THE VIEW

Time to talk about good sex?

So the blog hasn't been updated in awhile... this is because Lady Cunt has had her academic hat on and has been finishing a research report titled: Time to talk about good sex? A study on the inclusion of Sexual Pleasure within Sexual Health Promotion. 

I've been interviewing sexual health workers, youth workers and young people on their reactions to a controversial sexual health resource produced by The Centre for Sexual Health and HIV in Sheffield. It was a booklet called simply 'Pleasure' and gave a straight forward arguement why we need to focus on the primary reason we al should be having sex - for pleasure. Advocates of this "pleasure propaganda", such as myself, Steve Slack and Liz Wilson from The Centre for Sexual Health and HIV in Sheffield, The Pleasure Project, Susan Jolly of the Sexuality and Development Programme in Sussex University, believe that we have been focusing on the dangers of sexual encounters for far too long.

It's time to talk about ways in which we can have safe, satisfying sex. 
The main reason cited for why people don't want to use condoms is the lack of pleasure. This needs to be counteracted with strategies to encourage people to find ways to enhance sexual pleasure whilst using a condom - vibrating cock rings, the french tickler, ribbed, spotted and ultra thin are examples. Durex and Pasante have been doing this for years as part of their marketing ploy, how long is going to take for sexual health promoters to join them? And it's not just the male condom, the all new improved FC2, femidom is said to enhance sexual pleasure for both the woman and the man. The outer rim stimulates the clitoris and the inner rim is said to produce a unique tingling feeling for the man at the tip of his penis which in fact, has enticed Nigerian men to invent a special name for the sensation!

Another blatant reason why we should talk about sexual pleasure to young people in particular is that if we don't, they will turn to pornography for the answers instead. 

You Gov (2008) found that almost sixty per cent of young people aged fourteen to seventeen have seen pornography on the internet, on their phones, in magazines, films or on the television and twenty seven per cent of the boys surveyed access pornography at least once a week. In the same study, it was discovered that five per cent of these boys viewed it daily. 
A survey of over eight hundred young men and women aged eighteen to twenty six found that eighty seven per cent of young men and thirty one per cent of young women watched pornography (Malamuth et al 2000).

 The porn that the majority of these young people are watching is the hard and fast free stuff on Red Tube, Porn Hub etc and these videos objectify women, ignore the clitoris and depict unrealistic portrayals of sex.

They make us feel inadequate. Men feel they should have huge cocks AND keep it up for hours on end whilst periodically sticking it into every possible orifice of a woman. They feel they should have hairless chests, perfect pecs and a Hollywood tan. The women in popular pornos have gigantic tits, hairless cunts minus most of the outer labia and an amazing ability to reach a screaming climax anytime a massive cock comes near her. 

It's hysterical really when you think about it and very very far removed from real life, consensual, mutally pleasurable sex. 
Porn is all about fantasy and it has it's place but the problem is that we've taken it too far. Many men and women are now trying to BE like porn stars and ACT like pornstars. Sex becomes about PERFORMANCE, not about pleasure. Young, impressionable teenagers are watching porn in sustitute for sex education and this scares me to death. By talking about sexual pleasure  - about masturbation, about sexy safe sex, about how to give good head or the best moves to guarantee  to stimulate the clitoris - we are providing our young people with an alternative to porn. An alternative to faking orgasm, to hating your body, to spending more time wondering if your belly flab is showing (and we all have belly flab!) and most of all, an alternative to the fucked up fantasies of the human sexual pysche.... because that's all they really are - fantasy and no one ever said fantasies had to impinge on reality!

I'll be writing more about this in the future but wanted to let everyone know what I've been up to and welcome any comments/ questions on this subject. It can get heated in more ways than one!!

Cuntversations and Cuntnections!!

We are overwhelmed by all the beautiful and enlightning women and men we met over the last month.

So much so that we are taking a little break to reflect.

Dates for your diaries:

First women's meeting to discuss ideas for the future - Wednesday 6th July at the Impure Art Gallery and Bar, Brighton

Cunt Crafternoon 1 - 4pm on Saturday July 30th
also at the Impure Art Gallery and Bar.

Let me know if you want to attend... or have any ideas/ suggestions.

Big Cunty Love

LC

A Celebration - Sponsored by She Said Erotic Boutique and Impure Art

Come and see The Cunt Haven which was originally exhibited for a recent production of The Vagina Monologues.
Groups of women across Brighton got together to find creative ways to express their feelings about their vaginas, their yoni, their pussys (or whatever they called theirs!).

And we felt this powerful bond that we share as women on this crazy and beautiful planet.
Pop in to see us on Saturdays and Sundays 12 to 6.
Tea, coffee and wine served.
There will be the opportunity to contribute to the exhibition (anonymously if preferred).
We will also have coffee mornings and evening workshops throughout May and will post details here once dates confirmed.
We are a non profit community project.
Men most welcome!!! 

The Brighton Fringe Festival, Impure Art Gallery,

42 Ship Street Gardens, Brighton, BN1 1AJ

The Word 'Cunt'

“The word 'Cunt' is related to words from India, China, Ireland, Rome and Egypt. Such words are either titles of respect for women, priestesses and witches, or derivatives of the names of various goddesses (Musio, 2002)”.

“Derivative of the Oriental Great Goddess as Cunti, or Kunda, the Yoni of the Uni-verse …

“Cunina”, a Roman Goddess who protected children in the cradle,

“Cunctipotent” an all powerful (I.e having cunt magic);

“Cunicle,” a hole or passage;

“Cuniculate,” penetrated by a passage;

“Kin” meant not only matrilineal blood relations, but also a cleft or crevice, the Goddess' genital opening.

A Saharan tribe called Kuntahs traced their descent from this holy place.

Indian “Kundas” were their mothers' natural children, begotten out of wedlock as gifts of the Goddess Kunda.

Of old the name applied to girls, as in China where girls were once considered children of their mothers only, having no connection to their fathers.

In ancient writings, the word 'cunt' was synonymous with 'woman', though not in the insulting modern sense. An Egyptology was shocked to find the maxims of Ptah-Hotep “used for 'woman' a term that was more than blunt”, though its delicacy was not in the eye of the ancient beholder, only in that of the modern scholar.

Medieval clergymen similarly perceived obscenity in female-genital shrines of the pagans: holy caves, wells, groves. Any such place was called cunnas diboli, “devilish cunt” …

Scared places identified with the word – cunt – sometimes embarrassed Victorian scholars who failed to understand their earlier meaning”.

The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,

Walker, 1983

Negative reactions to “cunt” resonate from a learned fear of ancient yet contemporary, inherent yet lost, reviled yet redemptive cunt power. Eradicating a tried and true, stentorian-assed word from a language is like rendering null the Goddess Herself.

It's impossible.

Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, Musio 2002

Beautiful Quote from a UK research into young women's perceptions of sexual pleasure within safe sex

'Safe sex is as pleasurable an experience as actual penetration. Oral sex, just things like touching somebody else's body in a very gentle way. Kissing. Appreciating one another's bodies. I think it's as much fun if not more. You concentrate on each others needs a lot more. Instead of twenty minutes of bang, bang, bang, you've got the whole night; you watch the dawn come up and you're still there. Before they know it they're converted, and they suddenly realise 'well we haven't actually done it'. [Young woman aged 21].

Lady Cunt in the Easter Bonnet Parade

So it was a very hot day in Brighton and I tottered about on Western Street amongst the other Easter Bonnetees. There was beautiful array of bonnets.

My favourite (besides my own Cunt one of course) was one of Barbie and Ken in a risky sex position surrounded by flowers and feathers. 

This girl came third, I didn't get a look in. 

As a 5 year old girl told me, mine wasn't a BONNET, it was just SOMETHING stuck to a HAIRBAND! I almost told her what that SOMETHING was but felt that even for Lady Cunt, it would be going too far.

She did say I looked like Little Bo Peep too which quite excited me.

Second place was an elderly woman wearing a wedding dress (I think in tribute to the royal wedding... not sure, I chased after her to try get a photo but she disappeared). 

First place was a woman wearing a Carmen Miranda style Fruit Bonett which I feel was no more about Easter than mine but ho hum...

 I managed to get a photo with the Deputy Mayoress before she was whisked away by someone with a bigger camera.

 I did have a very interesting conversation with a gay guy in a stripey dress who said it was the first cunt he had ever seen. I liked his immediate, unflinching acceptance of this use of the word CUNT and let him look at my clitoris.

The nice man in purple told me his bonnet was a cunt too but his boyfriend said he was only joking... so I'll never really know. 

I met an irish man and as irish people do, we had an stumbling conversation in Gaelige. I know what I said and he knew what he was saying but not sure we really understood each other.

Lots of people did the usual "we're shocked but  very very interested" reaction and the girl who's bonnet had Barbie and Ken Fucking ran after me as I left, to take a photo. I obliged.... hoping she would let me take Third Prize but after much debate, we decided that she deserved it.

I walked away not sure if I'd really shared with other people why I was in the parade but I knew in my heart and in my cunt that I'd done my best and that was all that really mattered.

Photos of The Cunt Haven to "Beautiful Flowers" by India Irie

The Vagina Monologues, Brighton April 2011

I heart my cunt recently helped organise a community production of The Vagina Monologues with the beautiful Lily Rose Double from Loba productions and an amazing cast of incredible, passionate women. 

Lady Cunt performed the monologue “Hair” and Queen Clit, The Cuntess and our newest member, Princess Labia were positioned at front of house, meeting and greeting audience members.

Some arrived excited, some apprehensive and some plain scared but they all left feeling lighter, wiser and more connected with each other and the cast.

I heart my cunt also had the task of decorating the venue and turning it into
The Cunt Haven. This included 20 gold framed Collages of Cunts, big 3D vaginas
and Cunt bunting (“Cunting”).

Groups of women across Brighton got together to find creative ways to express
their feelings about their vaginas and to share stories.  

We laughed, we cried but most of all felt this strong,indescribable bond that
we share as women. We'd like to dedicate the exhibition to Eve Ensler, the
courageous shining light who created The Vagina Monologues. 

Thank you Eve, you managed to put into words what we are all feeling deep
down inside of us, in our hearts and in our cunts.

We would like to continue this experience by sharing with more and more
women by giving them the opportunity to contribute and are also looking
for a place to exhibit so if you are interested, please contact us.

A special thank you to:

Taboo of Surrey Street

Lust of Gardiner Street

Louise Everett

Liz Dean

Lis Long

 Louise Taylor and her 4 year old daughter, Lily Anna Taylor.

Moon Inside You - Diana Fabianova Interview

The Moon Inside You - documentary on how menustration affect us ALL!

Update on the shenanigans of I heart my cunt

We haven't had a chance to update the blog for awhile as we have each been super busy getting about in town shouting our heads off about how the cunt truly is the core. We have been out, talking to women and men and hearing what they have to say. Some we agree with, some we don't but we learned alot in the process and we'd like to say that we still entirely stick by our original point - that the cunt cannot be ignored, that it's the time for the cunt to be celebrated.

We aim to entice women;
To get their creative juices flowing.
To listen to their core, their centre and find a way to express what they hear.
To connect with what's really going on in our bodies and learn to be gentle with ourselves.
To break down feelings of guilt and shame that we have internalised by simply being a woman in
modern society.
To begin to challenge our personal and social barriers to talking about our sexuality to each other.
To find a way to then impart new found knowledge to others so we can unite and begin celebrations together!

The Cunt Coloring Book - Tribute to Tee Corinne

The Internal Clitoris

The Visable Vagina exhibition in New York

In protest to how the female genitalia is mainly only seen in pornography and almost always for the exclusive pleasure of men, this show was designed to showcase artwork that empowers the vagina and finally makes it visable to the public.
"The goal of this exhibition is to remove these prurient connotations, implicit even in works of art, ever since the pudendum was prudishly covered by a fig leaf".
Just like us, these artists feel it is time for female genitalia to be honoured and celebrated.
This exhibition attempts to free the cunt of its prissy fig leaf and display it for its true and mesmerising beauty.Thank you!!

Carol Cole Back into the Womb, 1997

Betty Tompkins Cunt Grid #12, 2009

Elisabeth Kley VV1 2009

Elisabeth Kley VV2 2009

White Night Flyer

I'm Lady Cunt

I built a wall around my lady garden
when i was young...
i was told stories, crazy stories
about someone invading my lady garden
but i don't remember
so i'll never really know if they're true


so i built a huge cold stone wall around my lady garden
it was big and protective and i felt safe
yes i did
i loved that massive wall
it looked after me
it was always there


Sometimes boys would like to visit my lady garden
I let them but i didn't like it
So i pretended
I moaned and I groaned estatically
and screamed my face off erratically
Then i cried myself asleep hopelessly


So, over time, i turned my back on my lady garden
I let everything die
the soil was parched and burnt
there was dead weeds everywhere
and it wasn't cool
no fucking way was it cool


The wall was still there, protecting, minding
but then someone threw a seed over my wall
and i felt an undescribable stirring, i got curious
what was this? little green shoots that had roots
and then a tiny beautiful flower tentitavely grew
Reaching its face up to the sky in aspiration of the future


Through further exploration,
I learnt to plant my own seeds
I've witnessed many flowers blossom
I now have bouganvillia and lavender
And I water it carefully and regularly
Butterflies come to visit occasionally in the summertime


The wall is still there
I love it too much to knock it down
But the flowers grow up around it
And there's an opening for my husband
A sweet sweet opening
to a special place inside me
Where everything is very fucking cool


I don't call it my lady garden anymore
Because I want a real name
that holds the history of womenkind
Of godesses and whores
A name that is the only one that women have
That tells our stories of pain, love and hope


It's now my Cunt
and I'm Lady Cunt


XXXX 

Bish Guide to the Clit

Monthly Women's group in Brighton

We were thinking of starting a monthly group in Brighton for us women to talk about all things Cunt related.

We could share stories on contraception, menustration, pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion and of course sexual pleasure! An idea we had was to send an article or documentary around each month and then at the meeting we could discuss it. There would be opportunities to share artwork, songs, poems and anything else Cunt related.

Contact iheartmyvagina@gmail.com if interested.

Moving beyond the word

Of course it isn't just about the word, we feel that if women love their cunts more and can pleasure themselves first, then alot of the mistakes we make in sexual encounters as young women could be possibly avoided. These obviously are the ones we have control over and does not include when cunts are treated badly and forcefully. We will talk about violence against cunts around the world and take a stand against it. This includes rape, forced prostitution, female genital mutulation and also labia reconstruction which women are actually paying to have done.

We also want to promote the love and respect of the cunt to young men, old men.. ALLstraight men. As one guy told us... "straight men spend the first nine months of their lives trying to get out of a cunt and the rest of their lives trying to get back in!" It is more difficult for a woman to reach orgasm and mostly the bang bang that alot of men like just doesn't cut it... this can lead to all sorts of psychological impacts on women who wonder why they don't like sex and if there is something wrong with them. We want blokes to think about how they can pleasure women and what it feels like for us.

Quoting the Vagina Monologues - " The clitoris is an organ created for pleasure. It has 8000 nerve fibres, which is more than those at the fingertips, lips, tongue and twice as many as the penis!"

Cunts come in all shapes, colours and sizes. Each and every single one is unique and they are ALL beautiful. If you haven't already, get a mirror or a camera and have a look down there, explore and have fun! Then come and tell us all about it! We want to start dialogue with women about cunts and if possible, share tips!

Laci Green on the word 'Cunt'!

Part 2 of 2 - do you agree with her conclusion that it should be used sparingly in order to keep its power?

Germaine Greer on the C Word (1 of 2)

Snappy Dance Theater's Vagina (The Dance!) copyright 2000

Eve Ensler: happiness in body and soul | Video on TED.com

Eve Ensler: happiness in body and soul | Video on TED.com

The Vagina Monologues

Who could talk about the cunt and not mention Eve Ensler who began the epic Vagina Monologues?

She began as a playwright and actress in Brooklyn and started to get interested in women's stories of their vaginas. 

  

The Vagina Monologues is based on these interviews which have led Eve to women all around the world from Kosovo to Afganistan to Kenya to New York. Often side-splittingly hilarious, often heart breaking; this moving set of the normally hidden stories, gives a clear and wonderous insight into the lives of women that most of us will never have a chance to meet.

From this grew V-Day which is a world wide campaign to stop violence against women and girls which raises funds and awareness through benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues.  

" V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.

V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.

V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.

V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities".

Gorgeous erotic flowers

We advocate the pleasure approach to sexual health education

What is the main reason the people have sex? The pursuit of pleasure!

We believe that everyone has a right to sexual pleasure and that it should be just that;

a human right included in the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights.

We believe that this would be the first step to empowering the cunt and women all

over the world. 

Sexual entitlement and ways of experiencing sexual pleasure should be taught in school rather

than being seen as dirty and shameful.

Masturbation WILL NOT make you go blind and in fact is an intimate way of getting to know yourself better. It is a way to prepare yourself for sex with a partner and should be encouraged or at least discussed in schools.

The promotion of masturbation along with ways of giving and receiving pleasure without having actual penetrative sex has the potential to be an effective way of preventing teenage pregnancies and the spread of STIs and HIV. 

This can only happen alongside a more open, realistic discourse when discussing sex, sexual risks and sexual health in a classroom setting.

We demand that the days of a sweaty, uncomfortable, red-faced science teacher or priest showing dated and uninspiring videos end!

Vagina Cupcakes - Yummy!

The Cunt Philosophy

For a word that describes the female genitalia to cause such intense shock 

and embarrassment is bad.

There is a need to normalise the word cunt. 

It should conjur up images of softness, gentleness and something that is 

actually very powerful.

This is part of what we stand for but we also want to draw attention to alot more.

We will use this blog to talk about all cunt/ vagina related topics that 

empower female genitalia and represent it for its beauty.